When you travel to way out destinations, things are different – that’s why you go there! It’s amazing then, when you’re in some remote place and either a travel companion or some foreigner you happen to bump into freaks out because things aren’t to their liking. The problem with freaking out, screaming, fighting, arguing or being otherwise combatant in the third world is that it is almost certain to land you in an even worse position than you were before the freak out. Often it’s enough to jeopardise your safety. Here’s what you need to take with you to avoid this situation.
A Smile – Honestly, just being friendly as hell is enough to keep you safe. Smile at the taxi driver, the guards, the police, the tout, the guide, the man with the gun, the ruffians, the kids. A lot of the time, that is all it takes to break the ice and get people to see you in a new light.
Patience – Look, things just don’t work in the third world the way they do back home and no amount of bitching, screaming or threatening is going to change that. Pack a book, sit back and wait for things to happen on their time. And remember tip 1 about smiling and being friendly, because that is the only way (short of a ‘gift’) I have ever found to make things go a little quicker or more smoothly for you.
Smokes – Everyone in the third world smokes. It is rife. Carry a pack of Marlborough in your top pocket and offer them up when things get tense. It will break the ice and everyone is then friends.
Acting like an indignant ass in the third world is the most sure-fire way to endanger yourself and make sure anything you are trying to do doesn’t get done. It simply doesn’t work and they really don’t care that you’re going to send a sternly worded email to their employer. Moreover, it really isn’t that difficult to break the ice an open some doors with your attitude. Travelling can be frustrating, time consuming and infuriating at times, but if you wanted everything to be the same as at home, then you shouldn’t have left.








Thank you for using my picture for your Blog!
Thanks for taking a great picture!
Great post, I agree with all, just I never carry cigarettes
I love traveling to so-called “third-world” countries, and often I find them less “third-world” then the “first-world” ones!
Smiling is not that difficult, everybody tends to smile more than here in Europe!
Trust me on the smokes.
The cigarettes thing is SO TRUE.
Did you have to give away the top three secrets in one post ?
Absolutely spot on. A packet of Marlboro red — no one smokes mild — and even a bottle of whisky can do amazing things in very tense situations.
lol – Yeah, they’ll be on to us soon if I keep giving away the play book!